Monthly Archives: September 2011

The Wonders of a Waffle House

The Waffle House Index

How do you know a natural disaster is really bad? The Waffle House is closed.

When a hurricane makes landfall, the head of the Federal Emergency Management Agency relies on a couple of metrics to assess its destructive power.

First, there is the well-known Saffir-Simpson Wind Scale. Then there is what he calls the “Waffle House Index.”

Green means the restaurant is serving a full menu, a signal that damage in an area is limited and the lights are on. Yellow means a limited menu, indicating power from a generator, at best, and low food supplies. Red means the restaurant is closed, a sign of severe damage in the area or unsafe conditions.

“If you get there and the Waffle House is closed?” FEMA Administrator Craig Fugate has said. “That’s really bad. That’s where you go to work.”

As always, I got up this morning, powered on my coffee maker and computer, brushed my teeth and opened up CNN. Of course, the main story was the war over Libya. Obama’s cute, little face made an appearance as well. But what really caught my attention was a story titled: “Baby Born Outside Waffle House”. Why do waffle houses always have the craziest people with the craziest stories?? There has to be something special they put in those waffles. So I went on a mission to learn more about the wonders of the waffle house. If you ever want a good laugh just google “waffle house”. Here are my very academic findings…

http://bit.ly/qAnlQz

http://wafflepeople.com/

http://usat.ly/peiCvg

The Waffle House Index in action.

A perfect example of why I don't support marriage.

Here Goes Nothing

For the past 18 years I have spent my life writing papers for school, internships, and work. Tonight marks the first time I am writing just because I want to. And let me tell you something, it feels glorious.  I have found that blogs are perfect for self-absorbed people, like me.  Here I can write whatever I want, whenever I want. My opinions, my thoughts and my words… warning: this might get x rated. This is a perfect example of why I love America: free speech. So what might you ask will be my first topic of discussion? Drum roll please… Pimps.

Yes, you read that correctly. Today at work I got the pleasure of dealing with a pimp. This experience had to be documented. Even though this pimp was trying to scam me by returning stripper heels that had already been worn and were never sold in my store, it was an overall pleasant interaction. He was cordial. He was also dressed normal. No fur coat, top hat, or cane… this was actually disappointing. And this got me to thinking, how many pimps have I come across and just not recognized?